Bacon Bikini

Daniel Adams from ingamenow (which, incidentally, if you're into sports, looks like a pretty cool site) sent me an email to let me know about the ultimate tailgate party snack, the bacon bikini.

Recipe not included, unfortunately, but perhaps you can figure it out? Me, I just dunno how you manage to both cook it and keep it pliable enough to shape to the contours of a woman's body. A ham bikini seems easier.

Anyways, these ladies is lookin' good, no doubt, but as a lady myself, and one who very much enjoys both bacon and tailgate parties, I gotta say, it's not a very practical outfit. Not because it's likely to be removed (with teeth) - that's a plus, really - but because it's one of those sexy women's outfits that makes moving around at all pretty much impossible. Maybe some girls don't mind being a still life centerpiece of bacony delight while football is on, but me, I actually wanna watch the game, and ima find it hard to sit still if anything exciting is going on. 

Meanwhile though, there's a WHOLE bunch of pictures of these lovely ladies modeling the gear. Don't try to look at these while watching football, they require your full attention.

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

For our friend Harold's birthday, my friends James and Kelly and I decided to cook him a wonderful dinner. And wonderful it was - we did the scallops as a first course, followed by a mushroom risotto, then a Chilean Sea Bass with a shallot cream sauce. All of it was superb, and the credit should go really to Kelly and James, who have been studying under the tv guidance of Alton Brown and know how to make things both delicious and elegant. The scallops, to my delight, were actually not all that difficult to make, and were fantastically tasty - the bacon is a gorgeous compliment to the delicate scallop flavor.

One needs:

Some large scallops

1 slice bacon per scallop

salt, pepper

lemon juice

Slice each strip of bacon in half lengthwise. Bake (at 350, I think?) for about 10 minutes in the oven, or until the bacon is mostly cooked but still pliable. Meanwhile, using paper towels and some heavy plates, drain as much water off the scallops as you can.

When the bacon is ready, wrap each scallop in the bisected bacon slice, first the meatier one, then the fattier one. Use a toothpick to secure. Salt and pepper the scallops, then put them in a hot frying pan with some oil. Sear them on one side until they're a lovely brown, then carefully turn them over - they stick to the pan a bit, so be sure to protect their structural integrity and delicately pull them up.

Finish cooking them on the other side - I wish I could be more detailed here, but really James was the one doing it, and he cooks by intuition. I'd say it was a couple minutes? But if you do it too long, the scallops will get rubbery. I seem to recall that he spooned some lemon juice over them at the very end.

In any case, they were seriously delicious.

Bacon Apple Pie

Jane sent along another bit of bacon - a photo of Bacon Apple Pie from Flickr. 

I can imagine it being pretty tasty, but you never know until you try, eh?

Bacon and Banana Pepper flatbread pizza

I'm currently visiting my folks in DC, and last night, we hit the Kennedy Center to see the Merce Cunningham Dance Company in action (conclusion: very modern. Maybe a little too modern.). We decided to grab dinner at the Kennedy Center cafeteria, which is probably the poshest cafeteria ever. And it was there that I first experienced bacon on pizza.

I'm not generally wild about flatbread pizza (Chicago deep dish all the way baby), but this was pretty effin' tasty. The combination of bacon and banana peppers was genius, and nicely offset with some parmesan (the menu claimed it was mozzarella, but I really don't think so). All in all, a tasty flavor experience, and one I intend to repeat and tinker with in my own kitchen sometime.

Bacon Cheese Roll

This kind of blows my mind.

It's so simple, so elegant... and my god, I'll bet it tastes amazing. 

(thanks to Jane for passing it on)

Chicken, Bacon, Wine

I've long been into the idea of trying to make coque au vin sometime, but it requires... effort. So, that time has not yet come. But I did end up making this chicken dinner that was vaguely in the spirit of coque au vin, in the sense that it involved chicken, bacon, and wine. So it was about as similar to the original as, shall we say, Thumper is to Pepe le Pew. But hey, it was ridiculously simple to make, and very tasty. Especially for something that was basically thrown together from what I had around the kitchen.

It's not the prettiest dinner I've ever made, I know.

One needs:

5 strips bacon

Chicken - I had a bunch of tenderloins, but a breast or two would work too?

2 onions

1 cup red wine  (I used the rest of the TJ's zin)

1 cup chicken broth

3 cloves garlic

thyme, oregano, rosemary, salt, pepper

In a large pan that'll hold a cup or two of liquid, fry the bacon. As it cooks, chop up the onion. When the bacon is almost done, pull it out, leaving the grease (of course), and throw in the onion and chicken. Brown the chicken on all sides. As it cooks, crush in the garlic, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Once it's well browned, crumble the bacon into it, and add the wine, chicken broth, and herbs - I added just a bit of rosemary, a shake of oregano, and a hefty shake of thyme. Cover and saute over medium-low heat for approximately 20 minutes, or until the chicken is wholly cooked and most of the liquid has reduced. 

I completed it by cooking some egg noodles and throwing them in at the end, but potatoes could work too. Coque au vin it ain't, but it's pretty good anyhow.

Asparagus with Bacon Vinaigrette

This was quite possibly the most fantastic dinner I have ever made for myself.

On the way home today I stopped off at the store and bought myself a 1.3 pound steak. Because I'm worth it. To do it justice, I decided to try something I've been intrigued by for awhile, namely, a bacon vinaigrette - I figured it'd be gorgeous on asparagus. How very right I was. Combined with a glass of Trader Joe's Reserve 2006 Sonoma County Zinfandel, it's nothing short of bliss. And took a mere 10 minutes to make!

One needs:

a big ol' steak

1/2 bunch of asparagus (I tried the frozen kind for the first time - not as good as fresh, to be sure, but really not bad!)

3 strips of bacon

1 shallot

3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

1 tablespoon water

garlic salt

lemon pepper

some olive oil

butter

Open the wine and pour yourself a glass.

Preheat the oven to 450. Chop the bacon up fine and fry it. Lay the asparagus out on a baking sheet and drizzle the newly acquired bacon grease over it, reserving the bacon. Stick the asparagus in the oven. As it roasts (approximately 8 minutes), chop the shallot, add it and a splash of olive oil to the bacon. Saute over low heat for a minute or so, then add the vinegar, water, salt and pepper, and stir.  

Next, sprinkle salt and pepper over your steak. Melt some butter (and, for a real treat, a spoon or two of bacon grease) in a pan. Sear the steak on both sides, and lay it on a plate. 

Pull the asparagus out of the oven, toss with the vinaigrette, add to your plate. Briefly set aside.

Cut a thick slice of good bread and use it to mop up the drippings in the steak pan as an appetizer. 

Set your glass and plate down on the table. Give yourself a round of applause for preparing such a tremendous meal. Eat, savoring every wonderful bite. Cut another thick slice of bread and clean off your plate. Lean back, take a sip of wine, and light yourself a cigarette. Could life be any better?