Grits

Some people like their grits with cheese. Some people like their grits with butter. I like mine with bacon. And don't skimp on the grease either! This is a breakfast to make your lips shine.

Banana Rumaki

Ok, it may seem like a strange combination of flavors, but seriously, once you try them, you'll understand. I used to make these for dinner parties and they would vanish at light speed. But I had forgotten how mind-blowingly delicious they are until I made them the other night. Alas, I ate them too quickly to take a picture. Just make 'em yourself.

8-10 slices bacon
5 bananas
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon curry powder

Preheat oven to 350. Boil some water in a pot. Throw the bacon in for 8-10 minutes. This is called blanching, apparently. Drain and dry. Depending on the length of it, cut into halves or thirds. Peel and slice the bananas into 1 1/2 inch chunks. Wrap each chunk in bacon, securing with a toothpick. Combine brown sugar and curry powder and sprinkle over bananas.
Bake for 10 minutes.

The 'hood version, for the solitary eater who happens to be out of curry powder and is somewhat lazy:

Use 2 bananas and 3 slices of bacon. Don't bother with toothpicks. Substitute chili powder, or a combination of turmeric, garam masala, cumin and paprika, for curry powder. Sprinkle brown sugar liberally over the top. Don't measure anything. Bake in the toaster oven.

Scrambled Eggs

The way my dad makes 'em (yes, he did request that as his link). Simple and fantastic. I'm not providing amounts, because it really varies depending on how much you wanna make. Basically, let's say a few slices of bacon and a green onion or two for every three eggs or so, eh?

Bacon
Eggs
Green onions
Salt and Pepper

Coarsely chop the bacon into chunks. Drop it in a pan on med-low heat, no grease. As it cooks, chop up the green onions. Add them to the bacon. Meanwhile, crack the eggs into a bowl. Pick out the clear white booger type thingies that cling to the yolk (the umbilical cord? I dunno the name for the in english) - I normally don't do this, but my parents always do, and their scrambled eggs come out way better than mine, so maybe it's a good idea. Sprinkle with salt and plenty of pepper. Once the green onions have softened up somewhat, add the eggs and scramble.

Bacon band-aids

So, the coolest thing about these band-aids isn't really the fact that they look like strips of bacon. It's that from a distance, they look like a _really_ heinous wound. But the bacon aspect is neat too.

(Available for only $4.95 here)

Bacon grease

A word on materials, or, how I became known as a person who is really into bacon. Props to my friend Max for introducing me to this idea.

Lots of people pour off the grease from cooking bacon into some kind of receptacle, because they worry it's screw up the drain on their sink, so they drain it into some kind of container instead. However, they then THROW IT AWAY. This is a goddamn crying shame, because bacon grease is GREAT. So rather than toss it, I urge you to pour it into a bowl of some sort and stick it in the fridge. On a cold winter night, cut a thick slice of some good bread and slather on the bacon grease instead of your normal bland butter. Look, I know it makes you a little squeamish and may seem gross. But try it. Trust me on this one. It's delicious. Or smear it onto a baguette with a slice of tomato and a dash of salt and pepper. Greatness.

For a real culinary delight, grab 2 or 3 strips of bacon and chop a fourth one up fine. Fry them together with a finely chopped onion. Eat the full strips as you would regularly, and pour the grease, along with onion and bacon bits, into a bowl. Put it in the refrigerator and smear THAT on bread later - delicious.

Added bonuses of bacon grease in the fridge - first off, it keeps forever, so that's not a concern. Secondly, you can use it instead of whatever other grease you generally use when frying, and it'll add a hint of bacon flavor to your dish. Steak fried in bacon grease, for instance, is amazing, as are hash browns. And you'll be amazed to discover all the other things you can cook with it... stay tuned.